I really wish I wasn’t writing another blog like this, but unfortunately, nearly 18 months later I am. This blog is a follow up to one I wrote last year about JK Rowling and the controversy surrounding her and the transphobic comments she has made. Now, with the 20th anniversary of the Philosopher’s Stone fast approaching, I feel like I need to make a statement, and this blog is it.

Actress Emma Watson has been getting loads of backlash for two very different reasons – firstly because she’s taking part in the reunion, having made comments before against JK Rowling, but secondly because people are deeming her ungrateful for how JK Rowling provided her with her success. I’d like to talk about each of these individually, also in terms of me and my own journey, as I too have so much that I owe to JK Rowling and yet…I’m very ashamed to admit it.

I think, first of all, I need to address the guilt and shame that comes with JK Rowling. Millions of people have been inspired by her and many authors my own age have been inspired by her. We wouldn’t be writing without her, and she was my role model for most of my life. I was appalled and felt quite icky when I realised who I’d really been supporting. Who I’d let influence me and yet, part of me couldn’t get out. Part of me still can’t, because I can never deny the impact she had on me as a writer and how much of my work was born because of her. Someone described it well in an article – it’s like finding out your uncle is a massive racist and even though you disagree with them, you can’t separate yourself because you’re so tightly intwined in that situation that there’s no escape without dire consequences. We all feel that way, and I think that’s why it’s so hard to let go – why so many of us will still watch the HBO special, because to us, it’s part of who we are…even if we didn’t realise how it’d all turn out.

And I think that’s what Emma’s doing. Because no matter what anyone says, she was propelled to fame by JK Rowling’s books and she owes her life to them, because without the books, there’d be no movies. So naturally, she’d want to go back and celebrate that time of her life. She was 10 when it started, she’s 31 now – that’s most of her life. That’s a huge part of who she is. She’s always going to be Hermione and nothing will change that. No matter how much TERFy stuff JK says, Emma’s unable to escape that. And I feel sorry for her because of it.

The other part of it is this feeling of ‘gratefulness’ or ‘ungratefulness’. As if Emma should side with JK just because she gave her the opportunity of a lifetime and ignore all the hate JK is spreading. And this actually stems into a much larger issue – and in fact, it’s one that’s central to my new series. We are all products of people who are older than us and they teach us their views, views which were once all they knew, and some of those views now are awful, but then, were just accepted. And those people have probably done things we’d never do, or said things we’d never say and most of those things would’ve been unintentional. Throughout history, it’s the same. Awful events happened over the course of our history, whether they be massive or tiny, insignificant moments, for us to exist as we are now. Billions of people in the world – no one’s going to have a pure (Harry Potter joke there, forgive me) blood line. Everything is tainted and that’s what I’ve learnt from this. We can strive to be as pure and as virtuous as we want, but everything we touch, everything that touches us will be tainted somewhere along the line, and the reason why comes down to only one thing.

The generation gap.

Even though people say generations don’t exist, they do because the world is moving so fast that culture, appropriateness, society, everything is changing and it’s hard to keep up. We all do things wrong and sometimes, we don’t even realise it because what’s right one year might not be to the next. And it’s okay to admit that and accept you did wrong, as long as you commit to learning from it. That could lead me spiralling into cancel culture, but we’ll save that for another piece. So much has changed that the things we grew up with aren’t going to be right anymore. Emma Watson had no idea when she joined the film series, and we had no idea when we read it what was coming next. That the person who brought so much joy into the world was going to take it all away decades later. Even JK Rowling probably didn’t know she’d be where she is now because back then there was less awareness about trans people. And that’s because time has moved on and time brings changes that we didn’t know about before, and we’re all learning.

But going back to ungratefulness. There seems to be this inherent idea that we have to be grateful for those who came before us and all they did and that gives them a free pass to whatever the hell they want to do. Admittedly, yes, we have no choice but to be grateful because without them, where would we be, but it doesn’t mean we have to agree with them, and that needs to be called out. Older generations seem to have this view that we should all be indebted to them and have no right to complain because without them, we wouldn’t exist. And that’s a trait that’s been brought from older generations, that we should always respect our elders. Nah. I’m not buying it because respect is a two way thing. Sure, we’re younger and have less experience, but age is not some sort of hierarchal thing that means someone up top is always better or always right. Age doesn’t negate someone from researching or talking to a minority or understanding more. We at any age are capable of doing better and as long as we educate ourselves and form valid, backed up opinions, we are doing way better than those who won’t even consider it. People may think ‘ok boomer’ enables a sense of entitlement and ungratefulness but really it’s because we’ve realised that as a generation, we don’t need to be powerless against people above us. We can be better and just as good with the right information and right drives to make our commitment to doing what’s right.

We don’t have to just accept and remain silent, just because someone gave us an opportunity or did something good if that person is inherently harming others. We don’t need to feel like we always need to be grateful because we owe things to other people – if that’s the logic we’re following, we need to owe something to every person on this planet because if the world hadn’t been the exact way it was at that point in time, we wouldn’t be here. That’s a heck of a lot of people to owe and we’re not even going to meet them all. Are we really going to spend our lives in someone else’s shadow and never become our own people, just because we’re trapped under the influence of someone else? And you know what that sounds like? Being made to feel like you owe someone, even if they’re inherently harmful as a person, but you just stay because you feel indebted to them? That sounds like abuse. A toxic relationship. And no, those aren’t just with partners. They can be with friends, work colleagues or also with family too. Even with our heroes. If you’re excusing someone’s bad behaviour and trying to justify it with something they did that was good? It’s unhealthy.

And I think the only way I can see some way forward out of that tangled web is something I mentioned in the previous blog. I need to persist with good, as does Emma who is doing outstanding things for the world. Sure, I’m a writer because of JK and she’s an actress because of JK, but now we need to use what we learnt, where we were taken and become better people out of it. We need to admit gratefulness for where we were taken, sure, and I do and always will, but now we need to take it further ourselves and choose what we do next. Who we want to be. Who we can be now that we’ve got the opportunity. And my way is to write as many books as I can about issues that matter (and for anyone anti-TERF, you’re gonna love one scene in my new series!) and use the good that we took from the bad to make the world better. And just because that good came from the bad, doesn’t mean we can’t use that for ourselves. No one can take that away from us now it’s ours, and what we do with those skills is up to us.

And if I was to see JK Rowling, get to meet her, talk to her, I’d just say this. Please educate yourself. Please learn what’s really happening instead of projecting. Please don’t stereotype or assume or pick and choose information that sounds right, without considering that you’ll never know every trans person’s mindset – nor every person’s. Please get to know the struggles and pain that people are suffering because of views like yours. In a world where you created so much love and hope, bring that into yourself as a person and realise, you do not need to push down on others to feel valid yourself. It’s never been about erasing women, it never was, it’s about being inclusive. Never about hate, all about creating love. Making lives easier, not harder. We all deserve to live in a world that enables inclusivity. It’s 2021 – it’s about bleeding time we all get the same treatment. And remember, there is literally no threat to your identity because someone expresses their own. Your identity is yours, theirs is theirs. It’s not Hogwarts where we can magically affect and mould one another with the swish of a wand, this is the real world. We are all individuals who can only ever truly know our own minds. For someone else to say that they know better than the person themselves? It’s illogical. If you feel your identity is at threat, that’s your own issue and you need to look inside yourself and see the source issue of why you others have such an impact on how you feel, and then you need to work on feeling comfortable in yourself, so much so that you can freely feel confident in who you are and not push other people down while you do it. Plenty of people do it, and they don’t bring down communities of people with them.

And of course, even if I wouldn’t want to, I would say thank you, for all that she did, for who she made me be, and for how I became a writer.

But I’d also say this. I’d say that I took the good out of the bad and did my utmost to do better than she did. And even if I never become as successful as her, and I know I never will, at least I can look back and realise that I never took away the magic I spent my life creating.

The Signs Are Coming and The Luke Bright Series are out now! Check the links to the side to grab your copies. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog post.

N.A.K