Hi readers. In my last blog, I mentioned that I was feeling a little scared to go back to reading The Luke Bright Series, and with good reason. However, I bit the bullet (so to speak) and did just that in what was probably one of the most emotionally draining five days of my life and re-read the series. I was always astounded by people who read fast, but I managed to get through the series (and a little extra bit that’s not been revealed yet) in the space of 5 days. And honestly, it was the most therapeutic thing I could’ve done. Let me tell you why.

I sent off my most recent series to my editor the week before last, and unfortunately, it’s not coming back until February, and that meant I didn’t actually have much to do. I already mentioned I wasn’t going to do Nanowrimo, and not having any writing to do was really weird. And after a lot of watching TikToks and Instagram reels and even cleaning the house, I was feeling pretty lost for how to occupy my time. So I knew there was only one thing for it. I had to go back to the place I felt most comfortable and that was back into Luke’s mind with his series.

When I delved back into the series, it did feel weird because my writing style especially has progressed a lot, but at least I can happily confirm that The Luke Bright Series is definitely young adult. But I also discovered something else I wasn’t expecting. I was honestly expecting to be able to fit really naturally back into that mindset and feel comfortable and in tune with Luke, but…I didn’t. It was weird but part of me felt like I’d outgrown him. There was nothing different about the series, and even now, looking back, even if there were slight edits I’d probably make (and some typos!) there was nothing I’d change or alter. And I was puzzled as to why I couldn’t fit back into Luke’s mind when it hadn’t changed from what I’d written all that time ago.

Then I realised…of course he hadn’t changed. I was the one who had.

The Luke Bright Series is of course fictional, but I’ve always paralleled it to my life – and there’s a very specific part of my life that it really did parallel, 2011 to 2018. And even though it wasn’t as drastic, I’ve been able to pinpoint certain points of my life and fit them in with what was happening to Luke. It all culminated on the day that I chose to publish the books and actually found a way to self-publish. Because what happens at the end of Luke’s books kinda mirrors that. That sense of achievement, that struggle and adventure is over as we both achieved what we always wanted, right?

And as I read them back, I was pleased and surprised to see that I’m no longer there. Admittedly, I didn’t realise how different I am now compared to who I was back then, but loads has changed for me. Firstly, I’ve grown up a huge amount and the reason why I couldn’t relate to it is because I’m not that same teenage-early twenties person who wrote those books. I’m nearly 30 and I’m a lot older, so I’m writing and thinking more adult than Luke, who was only really 19-21 in his books. But it’s not just that, it’s something else.

What Luke went through in those two years (and what I went through reading his books in the space of five days) was an emotional rollercoaster. The adventure of a lifetime, a trip down memory lane for us both, and it was intense. And that’s how those seven years were for me. Honestly, they were the most turbulent moments of my life as I came of age myself and figured out who I was going to be and how I was going to get there, and quite frankly, I don’t ever expect (touch wood) to ever go through anything quite as dramatic. I feel settled now, maybe not 100% satisfied, but settled. I’m in a different part of my life, and the life I paralleled with The Luke Bright Series is now a distant memory. I’m not there anymore and I don’t think I ever will be.

I went back to read those books because I was looking for answers on what to do next, what to write next, but honestly? I think I’ve already written the book series of my life. My life’s work as you call it, and even with The Signs Are Coming – it wasn’t my ‘life’s’ work, but it’s definitely the most intense book I’ll ever write and hopefully one day becomes a classic. And this new series, even though I won’t relate to it as much as I have the other two, there are billions of people who will, and that’s really exciting because I think that’s a series that’s going to stick with everyone for a very long time.

So, I asked myself to find out what was next, but I realised, I can’t find that from going backwards. All I found out is where I was, not where I’m going to go, and I think that’s the same with Luke. Sometimes, it’s hard to know what’s next when what you’ve been through has been so impactful and intense and moulding, but that’s the thing about the future. You don’t know what will happen or what it holds.

But I do know that I won’t be writing a book series like The Luke Bright Series again, because ultimately, though it may look like a book series, it’s more than that. It was the therapy that saved me, pushed me on, and it’s the reason I’m alive today. Luke Bright’s existence saved me and he has saved me once again, and I think he always will. And I’m glad we’re parting as old friends who shared some memories over the week.

And to end this long lamenting blog, is a quote, one of the last quotes in A Long Lost Time that I think actually pretty perfectly sums up what’s next for me. Something unknown, something I’ve got to figure out but something that I’m really looking forward to:

“Today was a new beginning, and if I’d taken on that struggle all those years ago, then I could sure as hell take on this new adventure too.”

A new beginning. I can get on board with that…

The Signs Are Coming and The Luke Bright Series are out now! Check the links to the side to grab your copies. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog post.

N.A.K